Miserable
by Gryphons Kiss
Summary: [GW] WARNING: YAOI CONTENT - Heero recieves footage of his long-dead parents, and his mind forces to chose between them and the love of his life. A very touching piece.


You make me completely miserable...

Miserable

  
"Miserable" by Lit   
Lyrics appear in the // //   
  
  


Duo lay on top of Heero, panting heavily. he had just experienced the greatest sex in his entire life. It couldn't get any better than Heero.   


__

//You make me come//   
Heero looked into his lover's eyes with nothing but love. "I love you," heero reminded him between pants.   
Duo returned the words, wanting more and more.   


__

//You make me complete//   
Heero groaned inwardly. He had to go, but didn't want to. He never wanted to leave the moment, but he had to. Standing wordlessly, he threw his clothes on.   
"Hey, babe, where ya goin'? Don't I get my payment?" Duo teased. Heero remained stony and unresponsive, moving toward the door. "Hey, Heero, where are you going?"   
"Out," came the sharp, icy reply. The door slammed shut.   
Duo frowned. He hoped he hadn't said or done anything wrong. It certainly didn't seem to when Heero was calling his name, begging him to fuck harder.   


__

//You make me completely miserable//   
__ Heero opened the door to his room and entered the darkness quietly The shades were drawn, blocking out the mocking sun. _Perfect conditions_, he thought, locking the door once more.   
On the opposite wall, a long white sheet had been draped down for a screen. On a table right in front of it sat an old projector and two canisters of film.   
_"Heero, I have something very important to give you," Dr. J had informed him one particularly depressing day, not too long ago. He had handed the young man the two reels of film. "This is footage of you and your parents when they were still alive and you were a baby."_   
__ Heero had taken the film ruefully. he had laid it on the table with the projector he had rented from the library. And then he went to release his anguish through pleasure.   
Now he sat in a cold metal folding chair as the projection on the sheet counted down the final few seconds until his parents' mystery would be revealed.   
He was frozen to the spot the minute his mother's smiling, benevolent eyes popped up. The camera showed them staring down at the little bundle of joy that was baby Heero.   


__

//Stuck to a chair watching this story about me// __

The pictures kept flashing across the screen - smiles, laughs, waving, running, playing - but the only sound to be heard was Heero's fast, shallow breathing.   
_My parents_, his mind whispered; their vision was blurred by warm tears.   


__

//Everything goes by so fast making my head spin// __

Heero wondered what his life would be like if his parents were still alive. Would they be loving enough to except him and Duo? He wouldn't even know Duo, because he wouldn't have been a Gundam pilot. He wouldn't have known _any_ if the guys.   
But it didn't matter. His parents were the most important thing in the world to him; but Duo just wouldn't understand that he wasn't as important. Heero pushed the bitter thoughts back into his mind, concentrating even harder on those smiling faces beaming out at him.   


__

//Used up all of my friends __Who needs them when you mean everything// __

But they resurfaced. He wouldn't have the strength, power, determination, or intelligence if he had his parents; he wouldn't have a Gundam. he wouldn't have the discipline, or any of the essential traits that others craved but were too scared to obtain.   


__

//I love the things that we should fear   
__ And I'm not afraid of being here// 

__

His parents' love had been replaced by the love of another. Or so he thought. But at such a crucial time, when his heart ached with too many different kinds of longing, he was alone.   


__

//It's all the same __ It makes me helpless alone//   
__ So why wasn't Duo here, comforting him, taking away some of that pain? Maybe because Heero had nothing to offer in exchange. For a moment inside, he felt like he asked too much of Duo, without giving anything in return. But he shook his head, his mind flickering back to the images being presented to his eyes.   


__

//Nothing to share __Why should I care if you're near me//   
__ What he wouldn't give to have his parents back. He'd spill Duo's blood if it meant that his mom and dad would come back and take him away. 

__

__ //I'd give up all of my plans __ Who needs them when you mean everything// 

__

Suddenly, a knock sounded at the door.   
"Heero..." Duo gently called. The door started to ease open.   
Heero stepped in front of the open crack, shielding the room behind him from Duo's view. "What do you want?" he demanded.   
Duo's voice was a bit timid. "I wanted to see how you were," he replied. "I hope I didn't upset you before or anything."   
Heero sighed in defeat. "No, you didn't." He stepped aside to allow the scene filter into Duo's eyes.   


__

//I love the things that we should fear   
__ And I'm not afraid of being here 

__

So much the same __ It makes me helpless alone//   
__ Duo's eyes widened at the screen. "What is this?" he gasped, his voice choked with more concern than he'd shown before.   


__

//(yeah, yeah) __ You make me come//   
__ "Footage of my parents," he managed to answer. A tear slipped down his soft cheek.   
"Oh, Heero." Duo murmured, sliding a finger over the spot to wipe the tear away.   


__

//(yeah, yeah) __You make me complete//   
__ Heero swatted the hand away, not wanting the pity.   


__

//(yeah, yeah) __You make me completely miserable//   
__ So instead, the pair sat and watched the images continue to flicker over the sheet. The same smiles and waves and movements played and re-played in a haunting silent melody.   
Duo grabbed Heero's hand. Heero stopped breathing because, to his surprise, he realized something - Duo was not giving him pity, he was showing compassion. His love and comfort grew out of understanding. It was a commitment of the heart, but it was still a commitment, and that scared him.   


__

//I love the things that we should fear   
__And I'm not afraid of being here 

__

So much the same __It makes me helpless alone//   
__ Heero looked into his lover's eyes, searching for some proof to confirm this revelation. He got it in the loving gaze being returned.   


__

//You make me come//   
__ Duo pulled Heero into a deep kiss, their mouths and tongues melting into one.   


__

//You make me complete//   
__ _Why the fuck can't everything be this perfect?_ Heero asked himself, pulling away.   


__

//You make me completely miserable//   
__ His kiss sent bolts through Heero's body.   


__

//(yeah, yeah)   
__You make me come   
__(yeah, yeah)   
__You make me complete// __

His touch gave him all the comfort he needed.   


__

//(yeah, yeah)   
__You make me come   
__(yeah, yeah)   
__You make me complete// __

But his presence took Heero's focus entirely off the two most important people of another life, and put it on the one person who made him happy in this miserable life.   
The reel flickered and ended, and Duo pleasurably slid and nude Heero onto his back, preparing to start the achingly pleasurable process all over again.   


__

//You make me completely miserable// __   
__ __

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